Cheburaha
199 posts
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 posted 10/6/2005 4:44:02 PM
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· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
· Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
· Life is sexually transmitted.
· Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
· Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
· Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
· Why do OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
· Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
· If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
· If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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