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Check list: You are a redneck if....
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Акакий
2352 posts
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 posted 9/27/2004 12:59:47 PM
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You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws.
You think TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company
Your state's got a new law that says when a couple
get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.
You got stopped by a state trooper.
He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?'
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
Your sister is the third generation
of women in your family to conceive
a baby as a result of an alien abduction.
If you can burp
and say your name at the same time,
you're shur'nuff a redneck.
You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
You hooked up with your present girlfriend
as a result of a message on the wall of
the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop.
The centerpiece on your dining room table
is an original signed work
by a famous taxidermist.
You think a quarter horse is
a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.
You think there's nothin wrong with incest
as long as you keep it in the family.
Taking your wife on a cruise
means circling the Dairy Queen.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
You no longer drink wine ever since
the screw cap got caught up your nose.
You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
That billboard that says,
"SAY NO TO CRACK"
reminds you to pull up your jeans.
Your wife's hairdo was once ruined
by a ceiling fan.
You go to your family reunion
looking for a date.
You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy
Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
Your high school basketball game got rained out.
You've got more than three cousins
named 'Bubba'.
You have a close relative named "Cletus".
You ever won first prize in a tobacco spittin contest.
You wish your outhouse was as nice
as those at the state park.
Last year you hid yer kids'
Easter eggs under cow pies.
Your family always goes to the movies in groups of 18 or
more 'cause they were told 17 and under are not admitted.
Jack Daniels makes your list
of "Most Admired People"
Your dog can't watch you eat
without getting sick.
You think the winter olympic sport of curling
is part of the "Big Hair" competition.
When you was little, your front yard got toilet papered
and your momma thought it was a gift from God.
You've painted a car with house paint.
You're banned from the Memphis Zoo because you disturb the monkeys.
You ever named a child after a dog.
You have more belt-buckles than pants.
You removed the back seat from your
car so all yer kids could fit in.
You think taking a bubble bath starts
with eating beans for dinner.
Your child's first words were
"Attention K-Mart shoppers!"
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Bulochka
83 posts
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posted 9/27/2004 5:13:23 PM
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Mdee...nado che-nibudj podlinneje bilo vstavitj   A pro Dom Perignon bilo klass 
[Message edited by Bulochka on 9/27/2004 5:16:04 PM]
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Bulochka
83 posts
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posted 9/27/2004 5:15:23 PM
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Sheriff
Admin
3955 posts
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posted 9/27/2004 5:35:59 PM
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Dom Peri-whatever is highly overrated.
Один знакомый wine-taster (пробовальщик вина???) как-то рассказывал, как итальянский виноделочный профсоюз (может быть французский, детали уже не припомню, слишком хорошее было вино)"создаёт" такие вина как DP.
Берется урожай одного года, с одной плантации, в винных бочках. Приходит комиссия, при ней часть бочек сливают в землю. Оставшиеся опечатывают, ставят свои "визы" - и всё, дорогое вино, так как такого сорта виноград с этого региона в ограниченном количестве.
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Walker
2573 posts
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posted 9/28/2004 8:35:34 AM
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Sh. Берется урожай одного года, с одной плантации, в винных бочках. Приходит комиссия, при ней часть бочек сливают в землю. Оставшиеся опечатывают, ставят свои "визы" - и всё, дорогое вино, так как такого сорта виноград с этого региона в ограниченном количестве.
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Американская клевета, распускаемая Paul Manson' ом.
Его вино наверно лучше. Мы с женой к Чилийским винам пристарстились - очень достойные и ЮАРовские тоже. Даже из Болгарии сейчас хорошее вино привозят, вот недавно какой-то Каберне Болгарский покупали, дешевый - 3,5 USD, коктейль делать от простуды (кр. вино, мед, сок лимона, гвоздика, перец). А потом так попробовали - очень даже ничего - понравилось. Вот только название забыл.
[Message edited by Walker on 9/29/2004 2:13:18 AM]
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